My sanity is lost when observing the scene. All reason flies out the door, hiding from what it has just seen. I try to interpret, make sense of this mess. I strive for understanding, as well as happiness. But both are as elusive as you. I have pleaded innocent, I have raised a white flag, I have sacrificed sleep. All to get a bit closer to what I want. Not what I had in the past, but what the present seemed to be, or what the future could have been. My mind consumes itself with a double standard. It focus' on the task at hand, the friends and the activities, while thinking about my trial. Its exhausting and unnecessary, profound and fixable.
This needs to end. Because every night I turn my head on my pillow, and see the gift you gave me. The living reminder of the potential bliss we could have had.
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